Do any of the behaviors below apply to you?
- At least once during the workday, you spend 15-20 minutes locked in a room.
- When the only door that locks in your office is the one to the bathroom, you announce to your coworkers that if they need it, they better use it now, because you're going to be in there for a while.
- While locked in said room, a rhythmic, mechanical sound can be heard faintly emanating through the thin door.
- What you're doing in there may or may not be a mystery, but your coworkers do not make eye contact with you when you finally emerge.
- However, on a good-humored day, twinkly eye contact is offered from your coworkers, mostly in recognition of the fact that while you were locked away, they were blasting this on the office stereo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaI2IlHwmgQ
If you identified with any of the above, you may have an obsessive masturbation schedule that you're having trouble putting on hold during the work day. But more likely you are a breastfeeding mother who must pump milk out of her boobs every day for months, if not years, after the birth of each child.